10 Pets Who Are Actually You This Christmas

Four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a fat cat in a santa hat. Welcome to the internet.

Christmas Pets (Image Source: Somepets), www.crowdink.com, crowdink, crowd ink
Christmas Pets (Image Source: Somepets)

Home for the holidays isn’t always a bucket of cherries. We all love grandma and the look on Mom’s face when she opens that gift we spent our last two paychecks on, but there are some struggles when the whole fam gets together.

These pets are here. When you’ve gotta keep a straight face, these pets understand, bro. And they’re not holding back.

When Aunt Doreen says if the new sweater is too small, she kept the receipt so you can get the next size up:

When your cousin who thinks he’s grown now that he’s on break from his first semester at college wants to make a “super profound” toast:

When you’re trying to get your sister up for presents Christmas morning, but last night was “Christmas Eve Out With The Girls:”

When you know Aunt Muriel had a really great year financially and is a sucker for cheek kisses:

When you’re counting your haul from Christmas morning and hear someone across the room say, “I think Trump is misunderstood:”

When your mother “treated herself” at Christmas dinner and now can’t get up to escape the tickles. Though she tries:

When you’re feeling super nostalgic and try to make a snow angel, but are now too grown to remember how:

When you offer to help cook, but really you just want to lick the spoon:

That one moment where everyone’s laughing, no one’s fighting, and it’s a Christmas miracle:

When you’re stuck in Australia for Christmas, and you’re not mad about it, but, like, where’s mom?


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Sam Ferrante is a poet, editor, facilitator, and writer born on Long Island, college-fed in Western New York and Paris, and then poetically raised in Buffalo, NY; Ireland; and Australia. A former member of the Pure Ink Poetry team in Buffalo and a regular competitor in Dublin's Slam Sunday, Sam was a Co-Creative Producer at Melbourne-based Slamalamadingdong in addition to serving on the Melbourne Spoken Word Committee. Sam has been published in Ghost City Press, Blowing Raspberries, and The Dirty Thirty Anthology and has been featured at The Owl & Cat Session, La Mama Poetica, Girls on Key, and White Night 2016 among others. Her debut book of poetry, Pick Me Up, got rave reviews from her Mom. She is currently the Editor of CrowdInk.