The 4 Most Important Lessons I Learned from My Breakup

In the span of 7 days, my life was shaken to the core. I would learn the 4 biggest lessons to living authentically from love and with courage.

My dreams of getting married, settling down, and building a corporate career were engulfed by the testing flames of destiny.

My 2.5 year relationship was kicked to the curb. Our wedding was cancelled, I was kicked out of our apartment, and forced back to my parents. Two days later, I left my high-flying six-figure corporate career and I rounded out the week by having to fire my first employee in my business.

Every failure in life shouldn’t be seen as a disaster, but as a transformation.

The decision to let go of the relationship was not sudden, nor was it difficult when I saw that we were both suffering; I was limiting my potential (and hers).

I could not see what the potential really was, because my dreams had clouded me from my true destiny.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

– Herman Hesse

As I went to work I thought about why I was still there. No longer could I use her as the excuse. Now it was all on me and I saw the truth of why I was still there.

I was so scared of the unknown. In that moment, I knew there were no more excuses holding me back but myself. So, I worked up the courage to submit my resignation 2 days after the break-up.

Sudden?

Yes.

Spur of the moment?

Never, it was always part of the plan.

Below are the 4 biggest lessons I learned the week my dreams were destroyed, so I could forge a new destiny.

1. Embrace the Pain & Suffering

Any breakdown of a relationship is difficult in terms of emotions, because you’re going to go through the void. Distractions don’t help. Simply let yourself grieve in a space that is safe; only then can you really let the feelings release themselves. Know that this pain shall pass, just like how joyful moments also pass.

2. Support Comes from Vulnerability

Everyone is scared of being alone. Everyone is scared to be the first to open up, but when you take that leap to open up, you never know who will come to your side to help you back up when you fall over. Don’t hide from the rest of the world when they come knocking on your door, be willing to just be you. Through vulnerability the deepest connections are formed.

3. The Onion Effect

I don’t call these moments a reboot, rather an evolution, because through this experience I realised that there is always something new to learn, accept, and love about yourself. You will find that you hit a point where you think you accept and love all that you are. The truth is, “you don’t know what you don’t know.”

4. Embodying Who You Are

One of my best friends feared I was being too emotional about it all, but when I called him up to explain the whole situation he said these words to me, “This is the most responsible thing you can do for yourself right now.”

In that moment I stepped up, and I took the leap into building the life I wanted. I started to live in my warrior spirit and I am no longer the victim of circumstance, but the captain of my destiny.

We are all constantly on a path of tweaking, refining and bettering ourselves.

Each layer we unveil about ourselves will feel like a revolution, an evolution, and a need to rebuild.

Remember it was always part of the plan.