You’ve been dumped. Or you’ve dumped someone. And that’s the worst. Put your headphones on. We’re here to help.
Step 1: Blame Them (Shock & Denial)
Coping isn’t always about logic. Maybe you were wrong, maybe you were both wrong, but sometimes, to move along, you’ve just gotta blame them. You can go two ways with this one. Go mournful and blame-y with Bon Iver’s Skinny Love or go with “I know this was a bad relationship, but I’m kind of still into it,” with Eminem and Rihanna. Or both. Y’know what? Do both.
“I told you to be balanced;
I told you to be kind.
Now all your love was wasted?
Then who the hell was I?”
“Your temper’s just as bad as mine is,
You’re the same as me.
When it comes love, you’re just as blinded.
Baby, please come back.”
Step 2: Get Nostalgic (Pain & Guilt)
You’re going to replay the good moments. Might as well get them out of the way early and with a bomb-a** soundtrack. Again, we’re giving you sweet and salty with options here. Was your relationship more Can’t Help Falling in Love (cover) by Fleet Foxes or was it more Sunday Candy by Chance the Rapper?
“Some things are meant to be
So take my hand,
Take my whole life, too.”
“You smell like light, gas, water, electricity, rent.
You sound like ‘Why the gospel choir got so tired?’
Singing his praises daily basis, gotta try it.
In fact I haven’t seen you in a minute, better get my butt to church!”
Step 3: Get Mad (Anger & Bargaining)
I’m not a huge fan of country, as a rule. However, my brother blasted this song for about a month when he went through his high school breakup and there’s really no better song for letting yourself be petty. I give you the massively underappreciated Pray For You by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.
“Let the good Lord do his job and you just pray for them.
I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill.
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls.”
Step 4: Cry About It (Depression, Reflection, Loneliness)
It’s unavoidable. We’re giving you permission for the length of two songs to make like a tree and pine. We really don’t recommend listening to 19 and/or 21 by Adele all the way through. Sorry we brought it up. But to supplement, I mean replace, (I meant supplement) those albums, check out To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens. Honorable mention: have a listen to Lea Salonga’s cover of Still Hurting from The Last 5 Years.
“I’d give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room.
To be alone with you.”
“Go and hide and run away.
Run away like it’s simple,
Like it’s right.”
Step 5: Put Yourself First (The Upward Turn)
Late 90s and early 2000s. The decade was all about the hustle and what better way is there to get over someone than by doing you? Whatever your gender, if you’re looking for some hustle inspiration there is no better place to start than with female power artists and groups like Destiny’s Child and TLC. We’re going to list the obvious two singles, but just put up a late 90’s playlist and keep it on loop.
“Thought I couldn’t breathe without you:
Thought I couldn’t see without you:
“See if you can’t spatially expand my horizon,
then that leaves you in the class with scrubs, never rising.
I don’t find it surprising.”
Step 6: Crush On Someone New
You’ve done the breaking and now (potentially) you’ve done some gluing back together. But humans are social creatures and you are going to fall again. Enjoy all of it. We’ll leave a beginning at the end for when your eye does catch someone new.
“I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling.
Gotta make you understand.”