Branding Millennials

US Ad Agency Moosylvania has finally announced its annual list of the top 100 brands loved by Millennials. Rounding up 1,500 Millennials for a survey might sound like a tough ask. However, a stroke of strategic geniuses sent surveyors to Kanye West pop-up stores, where herds of Gen Ys could be found lining up overnight to purchase exceedingly expensive hole-punched clothing. Considering their taste for the egomaniac, it’s surprising the top voted brand wasn’t Trump Merchandise. Ironically, the $300 t-shirt they purchased would have helped them fit in the night before when they were sleeping rough. How to decide between pity and scorn – it depends on the brand I guess, it’s called fashion. Each to their own however, one can’t deny the success of Kanye’s “Derelicte” Campaign.

B&T Magazine reported that the survey, now in its eighth year, asks 16-36 year olds – “to select their three favourite brands completely unaided.” This means the millennial test subjects had their minds wiped of the lifetime bombardment of incessant advertising, and were placed in a room with only their iPhones, and sneakers. They were then told to ignore the brightly packaged chips and sodas baring the figures of their favourite celebrities.

Interestingly, the list features companies such as Apple, Nike, Sony, Walmart, and JC Penny, demonstrating that despite the International Labour Office (ILO) estimating global youth unemployment at 12.6%, Gen Y aren’t so selfish as to keep jobs from Gen Z.

Moosylvania CEO Norty Cohen said that the results show that “ultimately, the functionality of how the brand serves the consumer seems to win out.” Demonstrably, brands like Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper feature high on the list because they serve the consumers need for Type 2 Diabetes. Furthermore, other featured ‘favourites’ like Amazon, Starbucks, Levi’s, Netflix, Disney and others serve the consumer’s need for heightened austerity measures by evading tax.

There are some notable companies missing from the “Top 100” list, including Bank of America, Volkswagen, Seaworld, Comcast, and Time Warner Cable (perhaps if those last two stopped flirting with each other so much they would be better liked). Alas, who would have thought societal, environmental, orca, and economic destruction were soft spots for Millennials.

In the end however, this list does serve to show what marketing strategies and actions are liked by Millennials. The popularity of a brand is becoming an ever more important factor in their success as consumers and brands move towards inclusivism. Thus, I must descend from my wooden high horse, not because I want to, but because I dropped my iPhone.