Beyonce is a Disappointment

Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Beyoncé Knowles.

For the first time in my life, Beyonce has disappointed me. When she dropped her single “Formation,” I was shell-shocked for a bit by the incredible music video, but after I came down from my high and went to buy the song on iTunes, it’s like it never existed.

I pictured myself in an episode of Twilight Zone, and started to believe Beyoncé may have just been a figment of my imagination. A lie I had concocted over the years. Perhaps my beloved memories were a deep psychosis finally coming to light.

After a quick Google search I discovered something even worse: the song was exclusively on Tidal.

For those of you who have been able to avoid this national tragedy, Tidal is a subscription-based music service that I am convinced was created to ruin my life. The service costs $9.99 a month for a standard subscription and, up to this point, seemed like a harmless and laughable knockoff of Spotify owned by Jay-Z. However, after Beyoncé dropped another single called Die With You, exclusively on Tidal earlier this week, I knew this had gotten serious.

I can’t tell if it’s my pride, or finances, that are ultimately holding me back from purchasing the service, and I’m really not trying to be dramatic. But I swear to you on everything I hold dear to me, I will never, ever, ever put a ring on Tidal.