Rihanna and Drake

Word on the street is Drake and J-Lo are the hottest new couple in town.

I am happy for them. I am. What a pair.

But aren’t we forgetting something guyyyyys? What about Rihanna?

Everyone’s saucy gal pal with one hell of a voice and sex appeal to rival that of my year 11 history teacher. I know you don’t know him but just trust me on that one.

For those of you who aren’t as down with it as I am ‘badgalriri’ and ‘Drizzy’ were an item not so long ago. Badgalriri was celeb pals with old mate J-lo. So J-lo has done a bit of a dirty to riri and broken the unspoken girl code of never dating your friends ex. Yay nicknames.

Am I particularly invested in this story for some reason? No. Okay yes.

Let’s just say I was Rihanna myself six months ago, plus about twenty kilos and minus the ability to sing on key. That’s right my digital friends, one of my real-life ones broke my heart by doing what no friend should ever do- she began dating my ex without my knowledge. Right in the feels you guys. Right in the feels.

Now I don’t want to get bogged down in the gory details because I know this is trivial in comparison to other world tragedies and the personal turmoil I will face in the coming years, but man oh man did I cry. So, as a tribute to Rihanna, I have made a list of tips for her to get on with her life and forget the pain caused by these humans. This is actually just meant for Rihanna but I guess you can read it too….

1. TRUST NO ONE EVER AGAIN.

Kidding this was a joke one. Hope you laughed hehe xx

2. Take the high road.

It’s sometimes hard when you have a brick in your hand not to throw it through your ex or ex-friends bedroom window you know what I’m saying? Is this a metaphor? It can be if you want it to be.

Basically it’s hard not to lose your marbles but it’s probably harder once you’ve lost them to ever find them again. Why am I speaking only in metaphor? Help me. The less you react and say the saner you will feel. Talk to your good pals and family for reason and advice and just for a rant. You will need to.

3. Evaluate the situation

How good was this friend? Was it a drunken hook up that meant nothing or an ongoing affair that was deliberately kept hidden from you? Does anything in your life actually change with these two people being together? Run all of these questions through your mind when you feel a rage black-out coming your way.

4. Forgive

If your friend or ex ask for your forgiveness, consider giving it to them. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”- Ghandi.

If Ghandi said it it can’t be wrong. Though difficult, forgiveness relieves you of the anger you feel inside yourself and makes you a better and wiser person.

If they don’t ask for your forgiveness (haha!) then know that that is a reflection on them and not on you. They may not even think they’ve done something wrong. Regardless, let them go and focus on your real friends.

5. Focus on you

Don’t dwell on the negative and instead focus on all of the incredible positives in your life. Are you healthy? Have you got an amazing job?

Amazing friends? It seems the way of the west to drown ourselves in a sea of self-pity rather and focus on the 2% that is wrong in our life opposed to the 98% of gorgeousness that is likely to be in our world. Get positive guys.

6. Let it go

At the end of the day “you can only control the chaos that surrounds you” (Hannah Horvath, Girls) and the best thing for you to do is minimise this chaos by allowing calm into your world, by not adding fuel to the dramatic fire. If you are haunted, bid those ghosts farewell and get on with your life. Easier said than done, but there is nothing you being an angry little person spouting hate will do to make your world or the wider world a better place.

So focus on the positives RiRi, you’re pretty good at singing and almost as hot as Mr Ryan from year 11 history. Almost.