Dear Daddy. Dear Everyone.

#DearDaddy has the best of intentions. But the video promoting education on violence against women has some issues and the comments are heartbreaking.

Dear Daddy,
Dear Daddy

More than 6 million people have seen this video.

It’s a Good Start

“Thank you for looking out for me so well.” And that’s what Dads are supposed to do. The letter format is emotional, it’s effective. This is a daughter speaking to her father, and that’s really okay. She’s telling someone she loves, who loves her, the story of her life as a woman and how that life is different, tragic even, in ways that most men don’t honestly take the time to think through. This isn’t an accusation. It’s a story that most men don’t read, because they don’t have to write it themselves. And that’s a good start.

It’s Real

1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted before the age of 21. It’s not a radical feminist idea to say that this is a result of the lack of accountability for boys who verbally assault women through adolescence. It’s logical. So the comments on the YouTube page saying that this is an extreme case are just inaccurate. This video isn’t about ignoring violence against men, it’s about highlighting the prevalence of violence against women. It’s about connecting catcalling and gendered name calling to real sexual and physical violence. Because that connection should be obvious and just isn’t yet.

The Big Problem

The daughter calls her Dad ‘Superman.’ And the problem with that is that she’s still looking to men to fix a problem that we all need to be fixing, in small doses, everyday. This is the definition of misogyny. The format of the video makes it seem like women are incapable of addressing the issues (rape, sexual assault, catcalling, domestic abuse) ourselves. We do not need men to speak on behalf of us. We need men to stand with us, but to let us stand for ourselves as well.

365 Users Like This Comment

If you cant control your drinking, here’s a solution: DONT DRINK. I turn into a half-wit asshole when i drink, therefore, i DONT DRINK ALCHOOL. But if you absolutely have to, do it with trustworthy friends.”

Girls shouldn’t drink. Girls shouldn’t wear short skirts. Girls shouldn’t walk at night on the wrong side of town. Girls shouldn’t walk alone. But boys. Boys can do whatever they like, because girls can control themselves. The priority shouldn’t be on women protecting themselves, because boys are human beings capable of controlling themselves. They are not dogs and women are not meat and a woman is a person, not a temptation. To say any less is to condemn men as sociopathic monsters. And they’re not.

Previous articleThe Writing Rules are: There are No Writing Rules, Except Those You Make for Yourself.
Next article7 Food-Inspired Bags That Will Make Everyone Hungry
Sam Ferrante is a poet, editor, facilitator, and writer born on Long Island, college-fed in Western New York and Paris, and then poetically raised in Buffalo, NY; Ireland; and Australia. A former member of the Pure Ink Poetry team in Buffalo and a regular competitor in Dublin's Slam Sunday, Sam was a Co-Creative Producer at Melbourne-based Slamalamadingdong in addition to serving on the Melbourne Spoken Word Committee. Sam has been published in Ghost City Press, Blowing Raspberries, and The Dirty Thirty Anthology and has been featured at The Owl & Cat Session, La Mama Poetica, Girls on Key, and White Night 2016 among others. Her debut book of poetry, Pick Me Up, got rave reviews from her Mom. She is currently the Editor of CrowdInk.