Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Beyoncé Knowles.
For the first time in my life, Beyonce has disappointed me. When she dropped her single “Formation,” I was shell-shocked for a bit by the incredible music video, but after I came down from my high and went to buy the song on iTunes, it’s like it never existed.
I pictured myself in an episode of Twilight Zone, and started to believe Beyoncé may have just been a figment of my imagination. A lie I had concocted over the years. Perhaps my beloved memories were a deep psychosis finally coming to light.
After a quick Google search I discovered something even worse: the song was exclusively on Tidal.
For those of you who have been able to avoid this national tragedy, Tidal is a subscription-based music service that I am convinced was created to ruin my life. The service costs $9.99 a month for a standard subscription and, up to this point, seemed like a harmless and laughable knockoff of Spotify owned by Jay-Z. However, after Beyoncé dropped another single called Die With You, exclusively on Tidal earlier this week, I knew this had gotten serious.
I can’t tell if it’s my pride, or finances, that are ultimately holding me back from purchasing the service, and I’m really not trying to be dramatic. But I swear to you on everything I hold dear to me, I will never, ever, ever put a ring on Tidal.