Pop Champagne Like A Boss This New Year’s

Choose your own adventure on how you want to impress guests with popping champagne this New Year’s.

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Pop Champagne Like A Boss

New Year’s Eve is really only one moment: midnight. And if you want your party to be a success, that moment needs to be the highlight of the evening. Set the tone for 2016 the right way, by blessing your New Year with champagne and flair.

Like a Pirate

If you’re a nautical rapscallion, you’ve probably already got a saber on hand. If not, it’s worth commissioning one just for midnight. Full disclosure: this takes PRACTICE. We also suggest wearing protective gloves, because if the saber trick backfires, the glass will shatter. Still pretty bada**, but dangerous. Stitches are not sexy.

Prep your bottle. Always put the neck of a corked bottle of champagne (or sparkling wine) into ice for at least 10 minutes. We want the bottle as cold as possible. Remove all of the foil and the “cage” around the cork. Then find the line or seam on the bottle and line up your saber. Run the saber up the seam a few times to line up your shot and remember to follow your swing through. DO NOT STOP AT THE CORK. The break at the lip will be clean, but it will break. So again: CAUTION.

Alton Brown explains here.

Like a Lumberjack

Lumbersexuality became a thing this year and we couldn’t be happier. The folks at Tipsy Bartender ran with this idea and used an axe to simulate sabering champagne with an axe. Plaid optional, cavalier hipster attitude is not.

Like a Bartender

The safe bet is to suavely twist and pull the cork. This is handy for opening multiple bottles per minute and you won’t have to deal with glass everywhere. If you’re expecting a bunch of drunk people, this might be the way to go.

Like a Sniper

If you’ve got a .50 caliber gun lying around (why do you have a .50 caliber gun lying around?), there’s really no other way to go. I shouldn’t have to write this warning, but DO THIS OUTSIDE, WITH A PERMIT, WITH ALL OF YOUR GUESTS VERY FAR AWAY BEHIND THE LINE OF FIRE, IN DAYLIGHT, AND PUT THE GUN IN A LOCKBOX AFTERWARD.

But yes, this is awesome.

Finally, be safe this New Year’s. Don’t drink and drive. And have a fantastic holiday that starts the 2016 off right!

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Sam Ferrante is a poet, editor, facilitator, and writer born on Long Island, college-fed in Western New York and Paris, and then poetically raised in Buffalo, NY; Ireland; and Australia. A former member of the Pure Ink Poetry team in Buffalo and a regular competitor in Dublin's Slam Sunday, Sam was a Co-Creative Producer at Melbourne-based Slamalamadingdong in addition to serving on the Melbourne Spoken Word Committee. Sam has been published in Ghost City Press, Blowing Raspberries, and The Dirty Thirty Anthology and has been featured at The Owl & Cat Session, La Mama Poetica, Girls on Key, and White Night 2016 among others. Her debut book of poetry, Pick Me Up, got rave reviews from her Mom. She is currently the Editor of CrowdInk.