It’s Not You; It’s Me: 4 Ways to Handle Rejection

It wasn’t too long ago that I was dating this guy. I’ve been on dates before, but it felt different this time. He was so different to the other guys I’ve dated. He was charismatic, chivalrous, and had an incredible sense of humour. To top it off, he also had an impeccable sense of style and, not to mention, eyebrows to die for.

I was giddy in love. I found myself grinning for no reason, starting to listen to saccharine love songs, and even humming to them. Every date was like a dream and I had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake. The arcade, fast cars, everything, it was surreal.  

Long story short, despite proclaiming his fondness towards me at the beginning, he stopped texting me for days and finally sent a text telling me that he wasn’t ready to begin a relationship with anyone yet before I had even expressed my interest in him. I did like him and was devastated. Anyway, here is my two cents from what I’ve learnt from this experience.

1. Handle it Gracefully

There is no need for drunken 2am messages such as “I klklesskmiss you;jfklsdjfkle” or texting him a million times demanding an explanation. I hate ambiguity and I was lucky enough to receive an explanation from him without asking, but regardless of whether he gives you a reason or not, always remember to maintain your poise like the real lady that you are.

2. Don’t Take it Personally

I started over-analysing what I had done or said after I read his text. Did I do something wrong? Was I not cool or funny enough for him? It is natural to have some self-doubt after receiving a rejection, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Practice some self-love. Remind yourself of all the good traits that you own. You are amazing just the way you are and don’t ever try to change that! Besides, if you are pretending to be someone else just to get his attention and affection, he is falling for another person that you have created and not your true self.

3. Think of it as a Blessing in Disguise

It could very well be a blessing in disguise instead of a disaster. What you perceive as a rejection may not even be a rejection – it could very well be a disparity of opinion, bad timing, or just an opportunity to opt out with no penalty. Walking away from the wrong person just leads you closer to the right person. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me, because I’m a strong advocate of happiness. If he is unhappy if we are together, then I don’t want him to be with me at all. Both parties need to feel an equivalent amount of bliss when they’re together otherwise why even bother?

4. Put Things into Perspective

After dwelling in misery for weeks and drowning myself out to Lana Del Rey, I realised that it was silly of me to portray myself as a victim of circumstance. I may not be in control of external circumstances (i.e. him sending me that fateful text), but I am in FULL control about how I feel and how I react to it. Five months or even five weeks from now, it would probably seem so insignificant that I could just laugh it off.

Audrey Hepburn is a woman of character and grace and I remembered learning that a guy rejected her in her biography. I cannot imagine the fool that would do that! My point is, everyone faces rejection at some point in their lives. As difficult as it may sound, the first step is to accept it, move on, and stop living in the past. Focus on the present and always be kind to yourself.  

P.S I’m still not giving up on love just yet. Let’s wait and see.

How do you handle rejection? Please comment down below.