There comes a time in your life where you may have to evaluate who your real friends are and who aren’t. It’s a tough thing to do, as many people fear losing mutual friends because of it, as well as just downright fearing loneliness.
But when you surround yourself among all different types of people every day, you are bound to find one that you don’t get along with. And it’s important to cut these people from your life before the relationship turns sour.
For those unsure about their friendships, here are 4 signs that could indicate you need to turn your back on certain people.
You are competing with each other.
A friendship should never be about who is doing better than the other. A loyal friend will always be proud of your achievements and successes, while a bad friend will use them as ways to compete and compare. But don’t let anyone bring you down just because they are insecure about their own achievements.
If you feel like your friend is never happy for your successes, or seems to always want to one up you, then it might be time to talk to them about the issue. It’s also good to consider whether you are happy for your friends or not. Comparing yourself with others is a negative way of thinking, and if you’re feeling insecure around your friends you should feel comfortable enough to tell them.
Your social media relationship is livelier than your real one.
What this means is, you are using each other to create an internet profile, and not due to any true bond the two of you share. This doesn’t necessarily mean when you talk more online than in person – there are interstate and international friendships after all! But perhaps it’s that when you interact on a public forum, such as Facebook, you tend to exaggerate the closeness of your friendship. This includes cheesy friendship posts, or overly tagging each other in comments sections, in ways that don’t coincide with how the two of you interact in person.
Don’t let the lure of social media create a false idea of what your friendship is like, because fake is never good.
You don’t see each other unless it’s for something.
When is the last time you hung out just because you wanted to see each other? You might not notice it, but a lot of friendships are just conditional, as many people use others to benefit themselves.
Ask yourself whether your friend actually gives you anything in return and, more importantly, ask if you give anything in return to them. If you only hang out because you need someone to see a movie with, or to go to a concert with, it might not be a real friendship.
You disagree with each other.
Of course, disagreements are natural, but sometimes, when friendships become toxic, you’ll tend to disagree with each other as a way of projecting much bigger problems you’re facing. Notice whether, when you disagree with each other, the two of you are happy to agree to disagree, or if you are stubbornly fighting your point for absolutely no reason.
You might be arguing about something as unimportant as who is the best character in your favourite TV show. But as a true friend, you should be respecting boundaries and knowing the difference between an important discussion, and an unnecessarily tense argument.
Take note of these signs and put them to use when you’re next with a friend you’re unsure about. If you feel you’re agreeing with too many of these points, then it’s probably time to cut off that person before it gets worse. Surround yourself with positive, happy people and you will be on your way to a positive, happy life.