Once, I asked a couple of my Twitter friends on how the new look of my blog was doing. The next morning, I woke up and saw a comment from a kind person who told me that it looked perfect. I had doubts, honestly. So I replied and tweeted back: Really? Thanks. The next thing I knew was that she replied with: Duh, don’t doubt your creavity! I was left dumbfounded. I was left thinking: why in the first place did I even doubt my ability to be creative?
Most of the time, we go like this: We do something we think is cool, show it to people, and then regret that we even did it in the first place. I often find myself in this situation. Even if I know I’ve done something great, I still doubt it. There are times I would just groan out loud when I remember something that embarrassed me — even when it did not. How should we deal with these kinds of things?
I grew up really afraid of so many things. I was an introvert ever since. I was always shy to ask or confront someone. I was so timid that I missed out on so many things children of my age were used to do. I was often lectured by my parents for not being vocal enough to voice out my opinions and let people know what I want them to know. The result is, I hadn’t enjoyed the life of having a lot of friends, getting into different clubs at school, getting involved in youth activities at church and a whole lot more! I always had doubts on myself and on everything that I did. Do I look okay? Is what I’m saying kind enough? Is the tone of my voice whenever I speak acceptable?
Fast forward to a few years later –
I started getting involved at church. Although I still don’t speak as much as I want to, I get to talk to kids much more that helped me communicate a bit more, and most importantly, through writing and blogging, I get to convey information that I think people must know. Albeit being an introvert is manageable, there are still times that I would rather choose to hide in my comfort zone and behind the curtains of the reality on where I am placed. Because of that, I keep on reminding myself of these simple things:
1.Don’t be them, be yourself
No matter what people think or say, you have the final say of what you want yourself to be. If I try to please people, I will obviously fail for I can never do that in the first place. But if I try to see myself as myself, then what others have to say wouldn’t matter at all. It is for them to accept me as who I am not who I will never be.
“Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
– Henry David Thoreau
- Don’t be afraid to ask
Throughout my childhood years and right through to today, this has become one of my biggest secret fears. I don’t like asking someone questions, a favor, or even suggesting something. If I’m left without choice, then I would speak, but as long as I can go with the flow, as long as I’m okay, then that wouldn’t give me the least of something to worry about. With this mindset though, people often think I’m okay with everything. Maybe because I won’t speak out, or maybe because my opinion won’t even matter. In this case, I also get them wrong. They don’t care about me when the problem was with me and not them.
“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” – Tim Ferriss
- Don’t be afraid to take the risk
As I’m in the last few months of being a teenager, I have set many goals and want to do so many things that are often out of my way, like learning new things all at once, or improving my blog, telling someone about what I do in life, or basically anything that I would render as risky and something that would give someone a chance to ask more questions about me, which I am most often not really comfortable doing. If I keep on holding back, then when do I do it? When do I finally jump out of my way to do what I want?
“You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.” – Professor Harold Bill
- Don’t doubt yourself
Going back on when I posted on Twitter, the person’s reply helped me realize that even if people doubt me or even if they dislike what I do, if I know I’m in the right place, then I thoroughly am in charge of my own work, of my own thoughts and of my own happiness. If I don’t believe in myself enough, who else would do that for me, you?
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath