Learning How to be Alone

For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid being alone. In a society that values the extroverts—those who know how to handle themselves in a crowd, the ones with vast network of friends— we are conditioned to think that there is something wrong with us if we enjoy our own company more than the company of others.

Learning to be alone is one of the most important and valuable life skills that we never learn. If we’re taught that we’re born alone and we die alone, why don’t we ever learn how to live alone? Here are some things to remember when spending time with yourself.

1.You’re all you need

Understanding that you don’t need the approval of anyone else to be happy is an important life lesson. When you’re alone, remind yourself that it’s because you choose to be: you’re better off by yourself than with someone who isn’t right.

2. Don’t distract yourself

When you’re alone, it’s very easy to fall into distracting yourself from your thoughts. But being alone is a great opportunity to think clearly about your life. In this noisy world, sit quietly with your own thoughts. Take care of yourself and reaffirm the path that your life is on.

3. Be creative

Getting creative is one of the best ways to make the most of time by yourself. To create something new is one of the most important things you can do in your life. Your other option is to ignore that call to create and, instead, look for temporary comfort in things and people who will eventually leave you unfulfilled. Make use of your loneliness; create something new.

4. Make goals

It can be difficult to feel good about yourself if you’re unsure of where your life is going. When you meet someone new, it can be easy to fall into the trap of pursuing a person, friendship or romance and making this your main life goal. Sometimes we forget that we can exist and thrive outside of emotional validation. Making personal goals, pursuing them and achieving them is scientifically proven to make us happier. Take some time to think about who you are, what you want and where you want to go.