Being in a long distance relationship isn’t easy. Let me break it down for you:
Stage 1: Denial
The first stage before the distancing even starts is dreading the thought of being away from your partner. You deny the idea of even trying it, because you believe most people fail in LDRs. The stage of fear, anxiety, and worry kicks in right before you leave, or right before you and your partner separate.You would try anything to get to see them more, even if its a couple hours before your flight, or a couple of days— it would all be worth it.
Stage 2: Extreme Depression (Short term)
Once the separation begins, you will fall into a deep depression. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING around you reminds you of him/her. You will probably run into a nearby toilet every time something triggers you to miss her/him. It may be the first time you’d understood how difficult and heartbreaking ‘goodbyes’ are. You will feel extremely lonely at night, and probably need to turn on your television or play some songs to get you to sleep.
Stage 3: Emptiness
Things will get better and after weeks you start to get used to it. The sadness won’t go away, but the intensity of being depressed will lessen. You start to go on with your life/daily routine, but know that there’s a huge part of you that’s missing— your other half being there in person. He/she will always be on your mind, and you will occasionally check to see if they have replied to your texts, read your messages, and when that little green dot pops up on facebook. You will feel reliant and dependent on your partner.
Stage 4: Worry
Your other half starts to meet new people and make friends. All these feelings of anxiety rush up and crush you. All sorts of uncertainty follow along. You worry whether your partner is going to meet someone better than you, and the thought of them not wanting you any more can haunt you for days. You may start to spend hours worrying about your partner being unfaithful. All these emotions start taking over and you will come up with assumptions that contain no logic. You may start fighting for little things, and you may feel the lack of trust in your relationship.
Stage 5: Trust
After several discussions (and possibly fights), you and your partner will learn to build trust in your relationship. This means when you see your partner with an attractive human being (AHB) on social media, you will most likely not jump to conclusions. You will understand that you take a vital role in the relationship, and that doesn’t mean your partner has to be there with you every moment of your life. You will learn to live independently as individuals, with a lot of communication, trust, and support.
Stage 6: Habit
Most relationships go through this stage. After a while, your relationship will start to feel like a habit. Constant repetitions of “Good morning” and “Good night” everyday. Soon enough, you will find yourself focusing more on your work, rather than your relationship.
Stage 7: Inspiration
Your partner will start to become more of a spiritual and mental constant support, and help you focus on bigger things in life— such as a grades, health, and career. You don’t have to deal with dating drama issues, but you’ll still be dedicated to your relationship.
Stage 7: Unsure Future
After a while uncertainty will come up in every relationship. Physically you and your partner are a thousand miles away, with different jobs/roles and it may be hard to ever be physically together. You’ll start to worry in the middle of the night, wondering if there’s ever going to be a happy ending. You start wondering whether this relationship is good enough to hold on to or if its time to just let go. You start thinking about all the consequences around you, and the things you may have to sacrifice just to be with him/her. The solution is to face the core of the problem (which is the long distance), have a long talk with your partner, and to make sure other issues don’t get in the way.
Final Stage 8 : To Never or To Forever
At this stage of your relationship, you’ll probably be too tired to carry on. If you or your partner are having doubts, negative thought or regrets about the relationship, it’s probably a wise idea to end it. Maybe your relationship has changed, maybe your partner is no longer who you thought he/she used to be. You realize you are better off without the relationship, and you realize with him/her around, there are less things you can do, and they don’t make a big (good) difference in your life. Having him/her around in a LDR may just feel the same as being single.
With all the heartache and struggles you’ve been through, you realize that this is worth it—going to Hell and back. You can’t imagine going on without your partner as he/she plays a big (and positive) role in your life despite being thousands of miles away. You are sure that this is what YOU WANT, and not because you are scared of being alone. Usually one of you in the relationship may have to sacrifice what you have in that region just to be with your other half, or plan out a solution/goal to have a possible future together.
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