New Zealand is a naturally stunning country, where the people are unsettlingly kind, and the politicians are able to maintain a stable government for a full term. It sounds like a fantasyland, which is probably why Peter Jackson keeps filming 17-part epics there.
If you’re feeling fatigued by the Scott ‘stop the boats’ Morrison disaster, or the AFL Final has you so disinterested that you find yourself collapsing from boredom every 5-10 minutes, then it could be time to visit our neighbours.
- See the Waitomo Caves.
Ever wanted to feel like Sandra Bullock in Gravity, floating amongst the stars? Well now you can! These caves are like floating through another universe. You will be completely mesmerised.
- Fiordland National Park
Sometimes I find New Zealand’s natural beauty a little obnoxious. I mean, come on! The UNESCO World Heritage Site will give you a hard-on for nature.
- Hokitika Gorge
I can only assume this gorge is the birthplace of Aphrodite. That’s how stunning this place is; it makes you think it can create goddesses of love and beauty.
Nerds! Actually, no, I shouldn’t judge. Hobbits are adorable and who wouldn’t want to visit a fake English village-style town that is made for miniature humans. That sounds dope.
- Rotorua’s healing waters
Before you fly home be sure to visit the healing waters of Rotorua. It’s the only way to wash away all of the resentment you feel for New Zealanders. I mean, this people live in paradise. Screw them!